Page of Swords, Gay Tarot

"Curiosity, research."

Today the 21 day Journey to Calm Aliveness with #DrAimie begins!
My system / parts of me are rather uncertain/on the fence about this (reversed), and unsure whether this will "be for me/help", due to "ending up in so many blind alleys" before.
I can sense the reluctance to fully engage.
And, of course, a sense of not feeling safe.

But (hopefully :)) this will be 'facing myself' (deck theme) in a totally new kind of way, and/or give some new tools for true healing (and not merely coping/surviving).

And it's up to me 'reading my system'.
Knowing when to engage and when not to.
Not to push - see yesterday's WHIP card.
Not to 'do everything I'm told' because I 'should' (because the curriculum says it), if I (wounded parts of me) don't feel safe to do it.
#Challenge #Growth #SelfRegulation #KnowThyself 

I don't know about you, but I have a history of pushing on in a Saturnian way. 
From a strong sense of duty. At the expense of my own (my inner child's/younger self's) true needs.
Overriding my fears, feelings, sensation and emotions without listening to them. 
Pushing on though not feeling safe and supported.

Deck: #GayTarot