The Wheel + Nine of Swords, Scorpio Sea + Healing

Terrifying change or a chance to heal?

R Wheel 2 days in a row.

This with an interpretation frighteningly similar to my own yesterday!
The rut. 
Taking that same train, same track, same time - same seat - wanting life to be predictable like a train table ... while complaining life is boring!

"You get into a routine and you can't get out of it. And after a while, you don't even want to try."
Our protectors are happy, our expansive soul - NOT.
#InternalFamilySystems  

Maybe we even get a bit MAD when opportunities appear?!
Protectors don't like chances, they see them as changes.

And, "Ruts work because you feel safe in their depths and protected from change."

Inner protectors/managers like to play life safe. Safe and predictable.
'You know what happened the last time (10, 20 or 30 years ago...)?' they say.
End of story.

They love ruts, "because you don't have to make hard choices and your life can go on uninterrupted."

"boring as hell" though!

***

The second card shows quite well how unpleasant it can get when status quo is challenged.
They bring in all the ammunition they can find. 

In my case that involves anger. Forceful but elusive anger.
I have an Out Of Bounds Mars in my natal horoscope.
He can get insanely and instantaneously furious when the right/wrong buttons are pressed. 

It's awful. 
Impossible to 'get away'.
Impossible to mute.

Yesterday I didn't run over it, nor give into it.
I listened.
I held held the space.
7 hours of hard rock (after years of almost no music).
As the anger doesn't speak to me, I tried to find out what bothered it with all my new knowledge in horoscopes.
19:44 he settled.
Like someone pulled a switch.
Happiness poured in.
#TraumaHealing

Deck: #ScorpioSeaTarot , "murky waters"
Deck: #HealingTarot