The Hierophant + The Empress, Apokalypsis + Art of Life
Hard times waiting for guidance and get in contact with your heart!
Continuing the story of yesterday.
There are times when the 'signs' seem vague, and/or there's a thick metaphorical blanket between you and your true feelings.
A blanket of old habits, beliefs and conditioning.
Your head knows it's outdated material, but it lingers, like a thick wet blanket, seemingly impossible to shake off!
You 'know' the universe knows best. You know you must follow your heart, and act from the most loving place within you.
But when it seems as you are given no signs, and no guidance in particular, for a stretched period of time, you finally "can't bear the waiting", and some old autopilot kicks in - frustration desperately 'looking for openings and answers'.
At least if you have some major 'control or productivity issues' in your configuration, like me!
It feels HIGHLY unproductive to the modern, inquisitive, result oriented mind to "just sit and wait".
What other cultures see as an art form and a virtue - meditation!
Only (at least) in hindsight, AFTER the revelation - the Apokalypsis - the so called waiting "makes sense"!
Peculiar how stubborn the mind and old patterns are.
I KNOW all eventual "waiting" have reasons - still I "loose it".
"When will this damn phase be over?!" the mind hisses.
Both regarding the waiting in particular, but also the whole 'thing' in general.
"When will I ever have a 'normal' life again?!"
Just get up and go to a work, earn a decent amount of money, go to after works, find a group, find a partner.
Most probably never!
Uranus 2nd house.
I 'KNOW' this, and in my heart I'm so comfortable with it.
But my ego is not!
My ego "buys it" when signs are clear, when there are obvious "things to do".
But when there's not - not so much!
It's getting much better, but I know the Universe will have me practice a lot more "waiting"!
The art of living, not just doing.
Deck: Apokalopisis Tarot
Theme: "a disclosure or revelation of great knowledge"
Deck: Art of Life Tarot