Page of Swords, Tarot of the Divine

More afraid of differences than appreciative of similarities are we?!

A harbinger of new beginnings and ideas!
"energy, curiosity"

But are we unconsciously blocking this opportunity already in it's seed state?!
Why does this defensiveness creep in?
I even read "cynicism".

What is it in us that immediately go to "it's to good to be true"?
This pushing away or wish to withdraw from what we (seconds) before so deeply wanted.
It sort of screams #AttachmentTrauma !

Also, I've always had the "be careful what you wish for, you just might get it" so close to the surface in my brain.
Why?

Is it because I've have wished for and chased SO many things in life that didn't actually 'make me happy' when I got them - mostly because I intuitively knew I was running in the wrong direction, but didn't listen?
Which has built in this insanely deep belief that I have no idea what's best for me or what I truly want/need.

Lately, I've been familiarizing myself with #HumanDesign
It's truly fascinating!
It has amped up my emotional focus and changed how I observe myself quite a bit.

I register how I'm suddenly almost compulsively search for faults (differences) now. How some part of me searches for proofs. Proofs for old outdated beliefs that keep me stuck in fear and "safety" - the "what's familiar is safe" kind of safety, though that familiar thing is to my own downfall.
This part has thrown out 'curiosity' through the window and replaced it with cynicism, but of course innocently calling it "healthy skepticism"
Ouch.
#InternalFamilySystems 

Deck: #TarotOfTheDivine
Theme: "appreciation of our differences and of the truth in our similarities"