Nine of Swords, Raven's Prophecy Tarot
Shake hands with your dead past and move forward!
The text to this card talks about 'the weather conditions inside you', rather than outside you, and shitty weather reports of doom and gloom! But maybe we're coming closer to embracing the dark weather machine we've built within ourselves, because of old emotional traumas we bring more and more to the surface - I see and refer to the hand 'touching death', and a reversed card.
There's still a lingering 'why me' (in the cards three days ago), connected to some form of emotional neglect in the past (the trauma portion) we've created a 'victim narrative' of the 'I'm such a mess', 'I'm of no use', and a 'it will never end/change'.
I read, "you live in a toxic black mire of fear or guilt" (LWB)
But it's different this time.
You begin to know and feel that it's just a narrative. It's not the truth.
It's not true that you're not doing (good) enough.
And who ever 'made you feel it', or made you create the narrative in the first place - did the best they could, considering their story, their configuration, their level of awareness.
"It's not wrong to feel this way, but it's impossible to live this way" (LWB)
"Introspection paralyzes you entirely" (LWB)
There's nothing more to think about, nothing to solve, there's no more answers or explanations to find.
Only acceptance of what was, and what is.
"What happened happened and couldn't have happened any other way, because it didn't" ~ #PeterCrone
Hold your little inner child, say you see the hurt.
Then dissolve the 'problem' - the old dis-empowering narrative holding you back!
As long as you try to live up to (what you perceive are) other people's standards or principles, you will feel miserable!
The only way to live a fulfilled life is to live in alignment with Your Own core values and guidance.
Theme: "balancing creativity and logic"
Card: Nine of Swords (R)