Knight of Wands, Hermetic Tarot

Fire of Fire.

At the risk of seeming annoyingly repetitive, I feel inclined to mention the movie Braveheart again, and repeat the question;
What are you willing to do for Freedom?
For yourself and for the collective/human species.

It might be that "you need to take risks, leave the comfort of your safe harbour behind you and strike out on your own adventure." (tarotclub.com)

Why?

Deck: #HermeticTarot
Theme: "Abstract, complex - beyond comprehension (for the time being)"

I'm sorry, but it's not for you to understand at the moment!

Some kind of knightly bravery out of the ordinary is called for now.
You must not let the fear of failure stop you.
Or the discomfort of 'not knowing'.

It may strike a cord in those around you, and/or within you.
A critic, protector or manager - or all of them - may object heavily to actions and choices you're brewing the strength to make, for your authentic self.
#InternalFamilySystems 

***

Strong and uncomfortable feelings of anger are triggered in me, almost rage. Because of a cute mix of feeling heavily judged, criticized, diminished, misunderstood, and worthless. To the degree that all the zest for life drains from me, and I feel completely superfluous and utterly meaningless. Which in turn triggers the anger again - because I hate feeling like this, and because I (now) 'know it's not true'. Which triggers the urge to put on the victim coat - why did I end up with this messed up nervous system?
And "I'm tired of this never-ending battle called life. I'm tired of standing up again and again, to never really get anywhere. What purpose does it (I) serve?"
It's a horrible place/narrative to find yourself in.

***

Enters, timely as always: Knight of Wands  

We should not run over our protective of managing parts, sure. But neither can we sit around until they 'find the time to speak with us', 'give us permission', or wait for them to 'accept us and deem us worthy'.
Sometimes it might be that we just have to show it. Take charge. Gently ask them to 'step into a room' for a while, and do what needs to be done. Take action - for healing our wounds #TraumaHealing
Remembering to check back in and sit with the anger (fear) of these resistant parts. Validate and sit with the emotions.
Validate and sit with the pain of feeling judged, small and neglected.
Show up for ourselves. Again and again and again.
#BabySteps #BuildingTrust 

To reach a higher level of confusion ;)