Ace of Swords, Lost Code of Tarot

Annoying achievement and input?!

So yesterday we had Victory and a sad Moon. 
You make intuitive progress that saddens you?
Realizing stuff that's good to see, but hard to look at?
Things that inspires you, but troubles you?

I've listened a lot to #ZachBush lately #Genius
I love listening to his journey, his story-telling, his insights, and his deep understanding (and love) of nature and biology.
Insanely eye opening.
But, saddening.
We don't have much time left - to live, or (the better #choice ) to #change

I cannot NOT listen to it, that would feel highly irresponsible and just intuitively wrong. 
But I don't know what to do with all the information yet.
I don't know how to integrate it into my life, my journey, my situation.
Heck, I'm not fully in connection with myself yet - immersed in intuitive astrology work, and trauma and somatic work.

It may seem as I'm 'overwhelming myself'.
But I've learned that this is how I have I work.
I have to (MINDFULLY) immerse myself in information - and feel my way forward.

Moon in the 9th house - the house of the higher mind, Higher learning, Philosophy.
In versatile Gemini - ruled by my Scorpio Mercury (opposing Chiron, so, yeah, it hurts). 
She carries 6 aspects (Pluto, Venus, Mercury, Uranus, Neptune, Mars) - she's an apex planet in my horoscope.
Everything must go through her, and destilled into ALIGNED action.

I have an abstract sense of knowing when a piece is missing. I can sense when things are off or incomplete, though not knowing why or what.
My Mars wants to push in these situations (exalted, opposing moon). But I've finally learned to 'sit with it'. 
Let more information come to me, until I just 'know'. 
Which I will do with this too.
That's how I 'find the code'.

Deck: #LostCodeOfTarot